The Letter of Complaint . . .
The Letter of Complaint contains the usual parts of a formal business letter. It will contain your address, the inside address, the salutation, the complimentary close and your name, following the signature spaces. Do not forget to sign the letter. The letter may contain a postscript.
The
Body
The body of the letter contains several parts: the problem (including a
general request for action), the compliment, the factual back-up, the
request for specific action or remedy, where you can be reached, a
reasonable deadline for action and possibly a statement of intended action
(the "or else"). You
may want to include this last part in a postscript to the letter.
The following letter is intended to illustrate the form with a little humor. Do not libel or make illegal or ridiculous threats in your letter. Such threats, though tempting in anger, only hurt the credibility of your letter and could possibly cause more trouble. Try to identify the sections in the following spoof:
Sample letter:
12401
S.E. 320th Street
Auburn, WA 98002
July 30, 2002
Donny
Rummyfeeling
1400 Pennsylvania Avenue
P.O. Box 1066
Washington, D.C. 01234
Dear Mr. Rummyfeeling:
I recently purchased a small tactical nuclear device from your covert arms store. The product definitely did not work as expected or as promised, and I expect a refund and compensation for various problems that arose from the malfunctioning of the product.
I appreciate the variety of products and services that your business offers and the variety of payment plans you make available to customers. Taking my old shotgun and my oldest teenager as a down payment on the device was really helpful. Many of my old acquaintances from the former KGB have been pleased with your operation and highly recommended your services and products.
I am enclosing a photograph and recording of the neighbor's still very alive, loud and vicious dog (only slightly singed, but definitely glowing in the dark), copies of the contractor's estimate to reconstruct my home and parts of the neighborhood, the hospitalization expenses for me and my family, the fines from the County Sheriff's Office and the nuclear regulatory crowd, and an estimate from my lawyer of the defense costs.
Since I had these unexpected difficulties--a much higher, unfocused yield--with a product warranted by you and purchased by me in good faith, I want your help. I want a replacement device that works as it should; I want my home repair costs, hospitalization costs, fines, and legal defense costs reimbursed, and I want damages in the amount of $100,000 (or an equal line of credit at your store) for the mental and physical suffering that resulted from the improper functioning of the weapon.
I can be reached at GRCC, 12401 S. E. 320th Street, Auburn, WA 98002 (206-833-9111 ext 4235) where I teach Terrorist Tactics for People with a Grudge or at 32001 Pacific Highway South (c/o Pussycat Motel and Massage Parlor) Federal Way, WA 98003 (206-833-9112)where I am temporarily residing while the radiation level drops before my home can be rebuilt.
Thank you for your attention, Mr. Rummyfeeling. I expect to hear from you by August 31.
Unhappily yours,
Sly Stallion
Sylvester
Stallion
aka Rambo from Renton
P.S. If I do not receive compensation in this matter by the end of August, I intend to bring my students on a field trip in a fully armed Blackhawk helicopter to your place of business for a little field experience so they can observe first hand how helpful a person in your business can really be.
Assignment
Write a letter of complaint. If
you have a genuine complaint, you may have to call the place of business
or whatever to get the name of the person to address.
A brief telephone call to the secretary/receptionist should work.
These numbers can often be found internet sites like anywho.com
and whitepages.com and internet
yellow pages like yellowonline.com
and switchboard.com . When you call,
say that you have had a problem and want to know who can help you.
Get the name, title, address, etc.
If you do not have a current difficulty or problem, try to recall one, reconstruct the incident, and write accordingly. Please put a note at the bottom if the circumstance is real and immediate, and I will be glad to help you. Otherwise, please be serious and as truthful as possible in your reconstruction, unlike the example above.